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Apparently, neither candidate ever attended a high school debate. I've heard their stump speeches.

The format of the debate was terrible; I'd love to see one where a question was asked, and each candidate had two minutes to answer it. If a candidate fails to give a direct answer within that time, said idiot shall be forced to step one foot closer to a rabid wolverine, chained to the middle of the stage.

Should both candidates answer the question, a three minute free-for-all period follows, during which anything short of direct physical violence goes: interrupting, name-calling, shouting the opponent down; extra credit is given to anyone brave and fast enough to pick up wolverine feces and pitch them at the opponent. A free electoral vote if the shit hits the other dickwad.

Hugs back, kids!


( 10 comments — Rap On, Sibling, Rap On )
Oct. 8th, 2008 03:24 am (UTC)
Sing it! (Of course, if we don't like the screaming-shouting-over-shit with Bill O'Reilly, can we deal with it when politicians do it?)


Yes. Yes, we can. I want to see Obama call his respected adversary a dickwad.
Oct. 8th, 2008 03:30 am (UTC)
The Dems have been waaay too fucking polite since Nixon was elected. Obama should rip McCain's throat open like a Pez dispenser and scream the truth about McCain and his party -- doesn't have to tell a single lie.
Oct. 8th, 2008 03:57 am (UTC)
Oh man, I'd pay a LOT to see *that* debate...
Oct. 8th, 2008 04:34 am (UTC)
I want the official Pez Dispenser.
Oct. 8th, 2008 12:35 pm (UTC)

Did you think that McCain was shadowing Obama, wondering what the political costs of decking him with his microphone would be?

Or maybe it was just me.
Oct. 8th, 2008 04:40 pm (UTC)
A Republican resorting to rabbit-punching an opponent with an ElectroVoice blackjack?

Heaven forfend.

McCain was living in hope that Barack would bend over. That's the tradition in the Grand Old Party.
Oct. 8th, 2008 02:00 pm (UTC)
I like your concept. I think perhaps a ring of flaming oil should be around the stage trapping the two closer together. It might upset the wolverine tho. If I was a wolverine I'd be upset at having to be in the room with two pols. There's a thought.... Vote Wolverine 2008!
Oct. 8th, 2008 09:17 pm (UTC)
Oct. 9th, 2008 04:57 am (UTC)
I'll confine myself to remarking, re your top post, that during the brief intervals I peeked in, Brokaw was making things worse. What a jagoff. "All producers love to turn knobs. They think it is a way they can... create!"

On second thought, let me add this: I think the wolverine angle is "good-but-no". I'd go for a Komodo dragon. They just bite gently and let their neck muscles hold their heads mostly steady while the squirming prey can-openers itself wide open on their razor teeth, and bleeds out. Cinematic. Very "reality TV".

Oct. 31st, 2008 02:07 am (UTC)
Oooh! This is a true thing of beauty

Ties in directly with your complaint about both candidates.
( 10 comments — Rap On, Sibling, Rap On )